As many of you (or none of you) know, I was recently hospitalized for Pancreatitis. Due to not wanting to cause a flare up (cuz that shit really sucked), I have sworn off alcohol. To celebrate, I have compiled a list of things I will never again do due to this decision. Depending on how you read it, it could be a gift or a curse.
1. Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol.
2. Die as the driver of a DUI crash. Bummer.
3. Smoke after you drink. Now you just smoke. And that's sad...
4. Feel half of Drake's songs.
5. Justify a sexual liaison with an ugly person.
6. Piss in the corner of a living room. Unless you REALLY have to go.
7. Call or text your ex at 4 am asking if it's really over....5 years after the fact.
8. Wake up vomiting and hot. Then drink another beer.
9. Have Taco Bell as your first pick of late night eats.
10. Think of a 10th item on Top 10 lists
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